Maria’s Story
“In the process of searching and learning, I’ve noticed a pattern across all the journals, books, podcasts, expert opinions, and my friends’ experiences. At the heart of stress and anxiety is a mismatch between what we want to be doing versus what we are currently doing.”
I have never been someone who shied from change, uncertainty, and growth opportunities. I bartended my way through college. I landed and kept a consulting job while in my Masters program. I moved continents for a job. I built a global community in my “spare time”. Outside of my comfort zone was my comfort zone.
But the last two plus years have been a little extra. Two new stretch roles. Living through the hell that is bringing up kids in a global pandemic. Stepping back from my community work. Ping-ponging between moving away or staying in New York. All to the accompaniment of acute angst about the state of our world. Oh and my must-have-accessory in the form of mild depression along the way. Yeah. A vortex of feelings.
It seems that no matter who I talk to - the two core emotions du jour for folks are anxiety and stress. On edge, overwhelmed, reactive. We can’t turn our brains off. Especially at 3 am. We experience bouts of inexplicable fear. And when we ignore it - it becomes too much, turns into existential dread or culminates in a panic attack.
My stress - which seems true for most highly-motivated, driven people out there - is of the chronic type. It manifests in a percolating feeling. Always there and continuously refueled by the growing scope of our lives.
The long list of responsibilities makes us feel important. A sense of urgency gives our lives meaning. “Look at how important I am, I have so many important things to do" - this must be the ultimate ego trip. All invented in our heads, often to finally feel “good enough” for the world. We do it to ourselves.
I’ve fluctuated between trying to half-heartedly manage my stress symptoms and actively ignoring them. Neither approach worked. Shocking, I know.
The problem is that chronic stress impacts both: our bodies and our executive functioning. This further fuels our stress and anxiety when we no longer perform at our normal levels. And while chronic stress did not start with the pandemic for most of us, it sure as hell grew more ferocious.
That’s why earlier this year when I left my last job, I started to explore stress and anxiety more deeply. I scoured the world for ideas. I dug deep to understand science. I experimented. I tried new therapeutic modalities. I built new habits like journaling and savoring. I learned to tap my acupressure points. I tested different supplements and micro-dosing. Quit coffee, started intermittent fasting, and became obsessed with napping.
In the process of searching and learning, I’ve noticed a pattern across all the journals, books, podcasts, expert opinions, and my friends’ experiences. At the heart of stress and anxiety is a mismatch between what we want to be doing versus what we are currently doing. And I mean it in the most radical sense. Tapped into our gut feeling. Having our heart be where our feet are.
But that's hard, right? Well, yes. That’s why I've teamed up with Lauren (who also knows a thing or two about chronic stress) to build a program for a community of people ready to chase the elusive sense of alignment.
The underpinnings of Habit & Co, are simple. We believe that:
Stress is really about misalignment and lack of clarity about what’s important
Breaking down self-inquiry into small habits compounds over time to create clarity and alignment
Doing the work of experimenting with these habits in a community setting fosters accountability and makes it all stick
Habits for living a more self-aware life, coupled with a community to get you where you want to go. That’s what we’re building with Habit & Co. We hope you join us. Our next Deep starts soon, grab a spot by signing up here.
